FIGHT, FLIGHT or FREEZE?

In the hustle and bustle of daily life, especially in a fast-paced society like Singapore, it's common to find ourselves juggling multiple challenges. We often assume that we're handling these challenges well. But the question remains: are we really coping effectively, or are we inadvertently engaging in behaviors that hinder our ability to manage stress?

Growing up in an Asian family in Singapore, the pressure to excel in every aspect of life is a familiar narrative. The cultural emphasis on success, often defined in terms of academic achievement, career progression, and marital relationships, can lead to a unique set of challenges. In this context, understanding and assessing our coping mechanisms becomes crucial.

Understanding Coping Mechanisms

Coping mechanisms are strategies that individuals use to deal with stress and emotional discomfort. They can be adaptive or maladaptive. Adaptive coping mechanisms, such as seeking social support or problem-solving, are constructive and help in effectively managing stress. On the other hand, maladaptive coping mechanisms, like denial or substance abuse, can be detrimental in the long run.

Fight, Flight, or Freeze: The Biological Response

The 'Fight, Flight, or Freeze' response is a biological reaction to perceived threats. In a stressful situation, the body prepares to either fight the threat, flee from it, or freeze in place. This response is deeply ingrained in our physiology and plays a significant role in how we handle stress.

Fight: Confronting the stressor head-on. In a Singaporean context, this might manifest as working tirelessly to meet high expectations, whether they are parental, societal, or self-imposed.

Flight: Escaping or avoiding the stressor. For some, this might mean procrastinating or withdrawing from challenging situations, such as avoiding difficult conversations or tasks.

Freeze: Being paralyzed by stress or anxiety. This can be seen in individuals who feel overwhelmed to the point of inaction, unable to make decisions or move forward.

Assessing Our Coping Strategies

How do we know if our coping strategies are effective? Do we find ourselves using substances like alcohol or engaging in binge-watching as a way to escape reality? If it is not against the law, we should be fine… no?

Cultural Influences on Coping in Singapore

In a Singaporean-Asian family, culture and religion play significant roles in shaping our coping mechanisms. The value placed on 'saving face' can lead to denial and avoidance as coping strategies. Religion determines if we belong. There's a tendency to suppress emotions, avoid discussing problems, or pray the problem goes away, which can exacerbate stress and anxiety. Or age is often addressed as the de facto for someone knowing what is right or best for you.

Challenges of Modern Life

In today's digital age, where the boundaries between work and personal life are increasingly blurred, stressors have multiplied. The constant connectivity and the pressure to be 'always on' can lead to burnout and mental fatigue. How do we know what boundaries look like?

Conclusion

Coping effectively in a high-pressure environment, especially with the cultural nuances of an Asian family, requires awareness and continuous self-assessment. It's about recognizing when our coping mechanisms are maladaptive and making conscious efforts to adopt healthier strategies. Yes, we deserve a break as a goal, and we are tired of planning the means. It is uncanny when those means, appearing in a perfect storm, are in the company of people we can trust. For example, if friends never intended to harm us and their maladaptive behaviours are normalised, who are we to make judgments? When no one else understands, we become vulnerable, we think we do not belong, and we feel alone.

So why the wait? Take the tests below to understand your biological responses to stress and the influence of your cultural background. By doing so, you can better navigate the complexities of daily challenges and better maintain your overall mental well-being.

Coping Mechanisms Questionnaires

1. Stress Management: How effectively do you manage stress through your chosen activities or routines?
   (1: Not effective at all, 10: Very effective)

2. Social Coping: How often do you engage with others or maintain social connections during challenging times?
   (1: Rarely, 10: Very often)

3. Emotional Regulation: How well do you feel you manage your emotions during periods of difficulty?
   (1: Not well, 10: Very well)

4. Problem Solving: How often do you take proactive steps to address challenges or find solutions?
   (1: Rarely, 10: Very often)

5. Physical Coping: How consistently do you maintain healthy routines, such as eating well, exercising, or sleeping, during stressful periods?
   (1: Rarely, 10: Very consistently)

6. Communication: How often do you share your thoughts or feelings with people you trust during difficult times?
   (1: Rarely, 10: Very often)

7. Impulse Control: How much control do you feel you have over your actions and decisions during stressful situations?
   (1: Very little, 10: Complete control)

8. Use of Time: How productively do you use your time during challenging periods?
   (1: Not productive, 10: Very productive)

9. Healthy Outlets: How often do you engage in activities that help you relax and recharge, such as hobbies, creative projects, or exercise?
   (1: Rarely, 10: Very often)

10. Support-Seeking: How comfortable are you with reaching out for help or support when you face challenges?
    (1: Not comfortable, 10: Very comfortable)

Scoring Interpretation Framework

Each question is scored on a 1 to 10 scale. With 10 questions, the total possible score ranges from 10 to 100. The interpretation is divided into distinct ranges:

Score Range and Interpretation

1. 10–30: At-Risk Coping Mechanisms

   • Characteristics: Responses in this range suggest that the individual may be struggling to employ constructive coping strategies. There could be difficulty in emotional regulation, maintaining healthy routines, or seeking support. This group might benefit from professional guidance or structured interventions.

   • Actionable Advice: Encourage exploration of healthier coping methods and consider reaching out to supportive networks or professionals for tailored help.

2. 31–60: Transitional Coping Mechanisms

   • Characteristics: This range indicates a mix of coping styles. While there are some adaptive strategies in place, they may not be consistently used or effective under stress. There may be occasional lapses in maintaining balance.

   • Actionable Advice: Identify and reinforce strategies that work well and seek opportunities to improve underutilized methods. Consider learning new coping techniques or stress-management skills.

3. 61–80: Stable Coping Mechanisms

   • Characteristics: Scores in this range suggest generally effective and healthy coping strategies. The individual may experience occasional challenges but has systems in place to maintain balance and resilience.

   • Actionable Advice: Continue building on successful methods and use them as a foundation for managing future stressors. Periodic reflection or skill-building might enhance current strategies further.

4. 81–100: Resilient Coping Mechanisms

   • Characteristics: This range indicates strong, consistent, and healthy coping mechanisms. The individual likely has effective emotional regulation, maintains supportive relationships, and utilizes constructive outlets for stress.

   • Actionable Advice: Keep practicing and refining these habits. Consider sharing your methods or acting as a support figure for others who may benefit from your insights.